I was delighted to see that a health worker, Margaret Forrester, was reinstated and promoted. She was suspended because she mentioned that she was concerned about women who were facing an unexpected pregnancy were not being given enough information about the potential negative effects of abortion. Whilst I am deeply sympathetic towards the women and their partners who terminate pregnancies, and I am desperate not to add to their pain, I am also very aware that the risks of terminating are not well known. I hear people talk about it as 'the easy option' and it makes me shiver.
For me, when I was 24, I terminated a pregnancy because the baby was dying. I didn't really have a choice, because I believed that every move I made added to the child's pain, and therefore the impact on my mental health was dreadful. After the termination (which took two days and involved inducing the child and giving birth) the guilt was overwhelming, and the procedure in itself was traumatic and left me physically and psychologically not the same afterwards! Then it was five years before I realised I had a 'right' to grieve. I was attending a seminar on grief and said, 'I have never lost anyone close, but what you are describing sounds like me since I had my abortion'. The leader of the seminar seemed surprised that it didn't occur to me that losing a baby in this way is a bereavement. However, it was still many years before I actually grieved, when I admitted to myself and to another that my actions were a 'mercy killing', after that the floodgates opened and the healing began.
I've met many men and women who are still carrying the pain and grief of termination, and as it isn't generally talked about, I think it is really tough to deal with. Wikipedia details the research that has been done in this area, and it is not at all clear that my experiences are typical, however I thought this text about the response of men was interesting, especially having recently discussed it with a male friend:
The psychological response of male partners to abortion has been the subject of limited research. A study of 75 men in Sweden found that most participating men agreed with their partner's decision to have an abortion, and that many experienced a complex mix of emotions including anxiety, responsibility, guilt, relief and grief. Other studies have suggested that abortion can be a point of conflict when partners disagree about it, and that like women, many male partners experience an ambivalent mix of emotions in response to their partner's abortion, underscoring the complexity of the abortion issue.