I had a lovely Valentine's day yesterday... I have so many things and people that I love and so many that love me back. I started thinking about the big loves in my life, and they are my boyfriend, my kids, God, the Church of England and being a priest. But I also love my friends, my parents, my parishioners, teaching, working for the environment, blogging, working with the press, studying, reading, campaigning, my "No Covenant" colleagues across the world, my online friends... the list goes on. I feel my life has never been more fulfilled. In addition, I get emails of support and love almost daily, mostly from people who read my blog and find it helpful.
I have also received two quite insistent offers of potential jobs. Both of them are outside the Church of England and it has caused me to realise how much I love her, warts and all. I think it is mainly because I was saved in the Church of England. I know 'saved' is a nasty word that a good liberal like me shouldn't use. But it is saved, saved from the spiral downward that my life was on, saved from crushing guilt, saved from terrifying fear, saved from despair. Without the Church of England introducing me to the saving power of Christ, I expect I would be... well I don't want to think about it.
Occasionally, I fall out with all the people I love most - my boyfriend, my kids, God, and I regularly fall out with the Church of England too. But I do love them, and I find that the desire to stick with them through thick and thin remains, even in the darkest moments.