In response to my post yesterday on remarriage in the Church of England, a few people emailed me their stories and asked that I should highlight the process for selecting candidates for ordination who are divorced.
The truth is, although I have known people who have been through this process, it is hard for me to write about it because I haven't experienced it myself.
I know there is a lot of strong feeling about the process - I regularly see people tweet questions like 'why is it just divorce that gets investigated, what about investigating lustful thoughts and loss of temper?'
I find the whole thing deeply disturbing, and it strikes me that the church is willing to damage members of the flock in order to avoid potential scandal... "See how they love each other"..?
Perfect love drives out all fear, we read in the Bible.. but the church seems riven with fear of scandal.
In addition, when I became a Christian, I read the Bible for the first time and got excited. Like Jude in the video above, I thought:
Jesus came for the broken,I thought the church was the place for sinners, because the well have no need of a physician. But, in selecting the leaders it seems like the criteria is more:
brother and sister
the ache, the pain
and the blister.
The wrong decision,
the open wound,
the blurred vision
that won’t ever hope again.
The Church want the well
the swell, the hell I’ve got everything I need,
the nothing’s lacking,
the non-cracking up.
They're interested in courting
the sorted.
If you are divorced and feel called to ordained ministry, a 'bishop's representative' makes inquiries and fills in the following form:
| This process is highly intrusive, it is a fault finding exercise with nothing about forgiveness and nothing about compassion. The important thing is to ensure that the church does not become involved in any scandal. Divorce, with the best will in the world, is intensely painful, RevKathy reminded me of some verses from Jeremiah in the comments yesterday: The Lord gave another message to Jeremiah. He said, “Go down to the potter’s shop, and I will speak to you there.” So I did as he told me and found the potter working at his wheel. But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over.When I read the word 'crushed' I winced even though my divorce was relatively easy and amicable. We endure the pain and then we start to forget as the years go on. I had my interview with the priest who will marry us yesterday, and he remarked that although he had been alongside me during my divorce, he had forgotten the details. The thing is I had forgotten too - it is a natural part of the healing process... Dragging up painful and guilt filled history seems to me to be counterproductive not only for the candidate for ministry, but also their ex, their children and any potential new partner. The process is evidence based. The candidate provides their history and is interviewed closely by a Diocesan advisor who also contacts spouses, former friends and employers seeking information about the failed marriage. The process is a trial and you are guilty by implication, until exonorated by the process. Of course, not all marriages end cleanly and the ex partner can make allegations that might be framed to derail any chance of a candidate being accepted for ministry. 'Revenge is sweet, but better served cold'. I really think this process breaks the second great commandment - love your neighbour as yourself. What do you think? |