The very breath you are breathing now. « adventuresofafirsttimepublichighschooler

"Seriously? You take you life that lightly? Do you not know that God gave you the very breath you are breathing now? Don't be so foolish with it." This was my Facebook status today. I was inspired to write it once I got home from school. What gave me the inspiration was interesting.  Maria and Jennifer had quite the eventful weekend. Anne tried to match hers up to theirs by using the F-word a lot in her stories, but none of us girls were quite as captured by Anne as we were by Maria and Jennifer.  So we left Anne alone with her profanity. Mrs. Brown had momentarily walked out of the room to make some copies, left me in charge of the big red button (to push in case someone had a serious problem I guess. Never the less, I was very tempted to push it after being given the honor.) and she closed the door behind her. immediately all ears were on Maria, she was telling us how this weekend she almost died. And when the "D" word was mentioned a hush fell over the crowd. Her and her friend had decided to try these death pills. In her words, "They don't kill you, but give you the effect as if you are dying.". It shocked me. I continued listening. Maria said that it made her heart slow down and she felt it stop once and she just couldn't stand up and then her limbs went numb and her vision became blurry. She made it home around three am and received a phone call from the friend telling her that they both almost died. Maria was laughing by the end of her tale and said, "Ha, death pills! They didn't take me."

As that story ended Jennifer's began; it was like clockwork. We leaned in to listen to Jennifer and slowly began to see a black eye hidden beneath layers of yellow concealer and her bangs falling around to cover the shame of it. Jennifer had spent the weekend at her friend's house, doing who knows what. At least Maria admitted to doing "death pills" (whatever those are). But not Jennifer. Her story seemed much murkier. She first started out saying that a guy just hit her for no reason, there were a lot of people at her friend's house and she doesn't know why he did it. And then it was as if the light bulb went off. You saw Jennifer stare off and say, "It wasn't a guy, it was my friend Bebe, and I started beating on her and she punched me." And her head fell as she shook it and covered her black eye. The last words of her story were, "I don't even remember the party." I am assuming that alcohol was involved. Mrs. Brown's timing was perfect, as Jennifer ended her story Mrs. Brown walked in. It felt like a movie, I saw there astonished that two girls would take their lives so lightly and at only sixteen. Hence the reason of my Facebook status. They have no self-esteem, no self-worth. What do they have to live for? I want to give them something to live for. I continue to speak about God and the life and healing he has given me, They know whom I serve and they know the blessing I walk in. My request is that they come seeking for answer, an answer that will heal them and father them.

The day was heavy, and my heart hurt for the two girls that I could not be more different from. But Jesus said that none should be lost, why should I alienate people who are different from me? They need a chance too. I feel as if I get one of those girls saved, maybe two, it will be as if I get the whole teenage community, if one person does it the rest seem to follow. Hair school always consist of more than just hair, it's a little tiny room that girls tell their deep dirty secrets and leave them there on the floor for you to try to not pay attention to, but just because it is sitting there under the counter doesn't mean that it's taken care of. I am reminded of the weightiness of my life every time I walk into those doors. I turn to the left and see Sarah's multiple boyfriends, hoping she doesn't cheat on them, I see Isabelle's mother in the corner hoping she moves back home, I see Jennifer's days filled with cigarette smoke, because she has nothing to hope for, I see Nicole's heart-broken over the fact her father doesn't give his approval,  I see Maria's dead mother wishing that her daughter was making different choices from her. I see so much and want to be the healing light the guides them to be of another spirit.